Insane Ramblings and Confessions of a Hoarder.

I have been very obsessed with jasmine scents lately. It doesn't help that I just finished reading Jitterbug Perfume (brilliant! Bloody Brilliant!). Did I tell you that I tend to, um...., become obsessive and have some hoarding tendencies? Well, one day Bath and Body Works had one of their major sales and what did I do? Bought a BUTT TON of body washes, lotions and sprays. Oh and shampoo and conditioner. I bought a ton. A TON. You figure it out that I bought a ton? Ha. I bought plain, old fashioned jasmine and a gardenia (of course, many other amazing scents) and I really like them. Very uncomplicated. I love them. Speaking of hoarding- I fear I am turning into my grandmother who is a serious hoarder. Oh who am I kidding? I AM turning into her and I am trying so hard to STOP IT! Ha. But... but... but I love my books and goodies. I caress my goodies. Do you hoard? Come on... admit it. What do you hoard? I tend to hoard books, movies, makeup, body washes, shoes, purses... um, lots of stuff.

 I have PTSD. People look at me weird when I tell them that because I have never been in the military or a first responder. From the National Institutes of Mental Health:

PTSD develops after a terrifying ordeal that involved physical harm or the threat of physical harm. The person who develops PTSD may have been the one who was harmed, the harm may have happened to a loved one, or the person may have witnessed a harmful event that happened to loved ones or strangers

I have been abused but... it was seeing Emma after being abused and nearly dying. That was my trigger. My reaction and post injury behavior wasn't "typical". I was in shock. I was failed. I, even though I am quite a bit better, feel that the system let us down. I was very... apathetic to everything. I was barely there mentally and emotionally. Lights were on but nobody was home. Emma was receiving great care but they didn't look at me and see that I needed mental health services to take care of her. I think that they should provide immediate mental health service to families who have a child with special needs (they are at high risk for abuse/be abusers/neglect/etc. due to the stress) as part of the services with the child. Even more so when it's caused by a traumatic event. My two cents. Maybe I can start something and get something going.

 Speaking of PTSD, my brother was injured in Iraq in 2003. He has been dealing with not only the physical injuries but the PTSD he has been battling. He is a brilliant guy but the man who returned isn't the same man who left. The mental illness caused by serving in the war has put a weight on his shoulders that was a lot for him to bear, the loss of working, he tried to go back to college to change careers with support from the VA and he tried to return to work and unfortunately, he relapsed. Severely. He finally has some relief. Since his injury, he's been living in severe poverty. He FINALLY got approved for VA disability. He lost his vehicle, income, everything and dealing with this and being a single 30-something year old man is crushing and he came by with his new car and his face was so lit up with happiness. It was great to see.

 Earlier this year, my sister, brother and I said it would be our year. My sister has been battling her homeowners insurance for nearly TWO years to get her house fixed. She hasn't been in her house during this time and FINALLY the repairs have started. It's been a long stressful time and I am soooo glad that she is finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. She needs to be back in HER home. I am so excited for her to get back in there.


 Oh and I love 70s shows. Enjoy!
 

Monday Music: The Emmys and Some Blues...

Craziness.

The past week and a half I have been on a huge 70s Television kick.  When I was unemployed, I would watch Retro TV (or now called METV) every day! It was the best.  I would watch Ironside, Quincy ME, Adam-12 and other amazing gems every day.  I was so stuck in the 70s.  Oh hell, who am I kidding, I am stuck in the past.  No joke.  The one show that REALLY sucked me in was Quincy ME.  It was so cutting edge at the time.  The world of forensic science was becoming a big thing and it is amazing watching things develop in the police world thanks to forensics.  Just like Hill Street Blues gave birth to NYPD Blue, The Shield and other iconic police procedural shows, Quincy gave birth to shows such as CSI.  It's amazing.  Besides, I am such a sucker for the fashion, cars and interior design during those times.  Gorgeous.

It's kind of odd because I read about Jack Klugman's (Quincy) son upset about his father being left out of the Emmys.  I don't blame him.  His father was one of the most iconic actors and paved the way for the current stars.  I am going to voice an unpopular opinion but... people have said that Cory Monteith is relevant.  Jack still acted until 2010 (he was in Camera Obscura).  The man earned the respect and deserved to be mentioned.  He was on the big screen and television since the 1950s to 2010! I am not saying Cory didn't deserve a mention.  Not at all.  Cory is relevant to today's youth and was a great loss to Gleeks all over but... in 10 years, Glee won't be relevant.  I am not sure if Cory would have been able to move on from his role and we will never know.  I enjoy Glee but it's not a MUST see for me however, it is important to the fans and that is what is important.   I also think that Ebert should have been given a shout out BUT my only draw back to him was he was a reviewer and most focused on movies over TV but he was important.  Also, Larry Hageman should totally have been recognized.   Who DOESN'T remember "Who Shot JR?".

I won't say one loss is greater than another.  However, I think Emmy nominated and Emmy award winning stars should have been recognized along with pop culture stars.  Just my opinion.

I will post more of my thoughts on this later.  Hell, I might run a series on the great shows of the past... oooh! I think I will! Ha. *High Fives Self*  Oh and to get back on track, I have been watching Quincy ME for two days straight on Netflix streaming.  Go watch it.  I COMMAND YOU! Just kidding.  Seriously, watch it! It's fabulous!

Ahhhh... speaking of being on a kick, I have been on a serious, almost obsessive (see? addiction.  I am not being facetious when I say I have a bonafide addictive personality.  I become very obsessive with things and form addictions easily.  I have to be VERY careful.  I can't shop - hence, my current financial difficulties... and must maintain a lot of control.  It sucks. Ha) about Blues.  BLUUUUUUUUUUESS.

I've got the babysitting blues... remember that from Adventures in Babysitting? Love that movie.  So does my daughter.

Robert Cray Band.

I have always found Right Next Door to be an extremely sexy song.  His voice.  The guitar.  Pure perfection.  Of course, it is a song about cheating but... listen and enjoy.  Such an 80s vibe. Love it, right? Smoki



Smoking Gun is another amazing tune.  He just gets down on the guitar...



Another favorite Blues performer for me is Coco Montoya.  His voice.  My gods... his voice.

Listen to Forever:



Same Dog is a great jam:



The prodigy that is Joe Bonamassa (he has done amazing work with Beth Hart).. His guitar skills give me serious goosebumps.  Serious.



Speaking of Beth Hart:



I hope you enjoy these songs.  If you do and wish to buy, definitely click through my affiliate links below.  Pretty please :)  I am shameless, I know but I am trying to earn some Christmas Money

Pork Lo Mein + Dystopian Future

 Let me preface this by saying, I am obviously not a food blogger and I am a mediocre photographer with a decent camera but missing the awesome skills.  Ha Ha!  Am I the only one thinks the step by step photos are kind of annoying? 

I've been trying to cook more at home and I am obsessed with Asian food.  If you follow me on Pinterest, you will know that I am obsessed with Asian grubbage.  I am fatally allergic to fish/shellfish, so I cook at home.   Speaking of cooking at home, I am trying to be more frugal.  TRY being the operative word.  Have I told you that I get sucked into that whole conspiracy-chicken little-robots are taking over future theories? I totally do.  I am also obsessed with Doomsday Preppers.   I started googling what jobs we will have when 2040 hits.  Hey, I will be middle aged then! So, of course, the Robots will take over the world, we will be at a 50% unemployment.  Yep.  My ears started ringing, I got warm (might have been a true hot flash, but whatever) and my anxiety levels went up.  I am such a sucker.  I prefer the Fifth Element type of future.  Corbin Dallas.  Multipass. 

Random Wednesday Finds: HBO

Who here watches the programming on HBO?

Come on, now... don't be afraid to admit it.

I will.  I love Game of Thrones, I loved the Wire, Girls, Boardwalk Empire, Deadwood, True Blood and on and on and one and there's one recurring theme: boobs.  Lots and lots of boobs.  And whores.  Don't get me wrong, it's all lovely and all but why is it only men who get the show? We demand gender nudity equality.  Heck, OZ did show some of the goods... lol.

Ok, here is this week's wonder Random Wednesday Find that I found courtesy of Pat's Fantasy Hotlist.  By the way, if you love Fantasy and SciFi- that's the blog to know.  Seriously.

Anyhow, I giggled.  A lot.  This video is perfect and it's so true.

Seriously, HBO... kick it up a notch.  For the girls, of course.  *wink wink*

Monday Music: Christopher Cross + Amateur Radio Operators

Do you ever get into those super lazy funks where it seems like it will steal your energy just to do some minute task?  That's how I've been for the last few weeks (hence the lack of posts).  I felt too lazy to turn on my computer.  Girl Scouts honor! I looked at my computer and said that's too much work! Haha.

Pure laziness.  Actually, I've been super zapped.  I hit a bit of a valley and it's taking everything I have to get back into the groove of things.  I feel terrible because I haven't shipped out the BB cream winner's package yet (Sorry!). I've been stressed, sick, and dealing with some money troubles but such is life.

I was reminiscing about my dad today.  He was a huge lover of boxing and radios.  I remember how exciting the boxing scene was in Southwest Kansas.  There were so many tournaments, matches and Tough Man competitions going on.  So much heart and excitement.  I believe the scene is pretty dead back there but a few of the fighters in the gym did go pro and there were some who had a great chance at going pro (my brothers being amongst them).  These guys had so much heart.  There were a few coaches in the area (my dad and a few others) and sadly, they're all either too old or have passed on.  My dad was a die hard Ham Radio operator.  He used to drag me along to the classes to test.  I hated it.  Back then, it was all about morse code and frankly, it did nothing for me. It never dawned on me until... well, Sunday night (literally, this Sunday night) why he dragged me there.  I never got my amateur radio operator's license because... well, I was a dumb kid who thought this was only for old fogies (Seriously, I was the only person under 50 attending).  My dad and mom noticed my obsession for music and deejaying.  My dad told me once (mind you, my father NEVER said any kind of positive affirmation to us.  He never really encouraged us unless you were one of the boys boxing, so this is huge) that I should get a job on the radio.  I pooh-poohed it and continued making mixing tapes.  I was also insanely obsessed with Christian Slater's Pump Up the Volume movie.   As you have seen via my Monday Music posts,  I have a wide range of musical tastes.  My music trivia knowledge is pretty good.  I am also a huge book nut.  I love a good book.  I also love sharing my thoughts and opinions on things I find.  I never realized that an Amateur radio can do many cool things- talk to astronauts, help in an emergency, and you can broadcast to other operators.  You just can't get paid for it.  Just thinking about maybe picking it back up and seeing if my brother kept my dad's equipment.  Might get a bit of a shout out for my dad and my mom out there in radioland.

Anyways....

For some reason the past two weeks, my music line up has been a bit... eclectic for my drive to and from work.  I am serious.  It's an odd mashup:  It was a Good Day by Dr. Dre, Juicy by Notorious B.I.G. and then... Christopher Cross. Cross my heart.  It's the truth!  No clue WHY I've made my playlist this way but it's allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll good, baby baby bay,,,

I am going to try something new, instead of Youtube, I'm trying Grooveshark.  Let me know if you prefer the Youtube vids over Grooveshark.

I love Christopher Cross' voice, he reminds me a lot of Michael McDonald but different but the same. Haha.

Ahh... Local Boy Music: Matt Bowlin

So....

Shameless plug here.  A school friend of mine who is not only an amazing human being but a fabulous country singer.  He has worked very hard on his music and gives non stop.

I think you should check out my friend Matt Bowlin.  I am pretty biased but he's freakin' fabulous.









Oh and he's on CMT, Facebook and here's his website

Nope.  No sponsorship or anything.  This is my friend and I am not afraid to shamelessly promote him.

Besides, he totally rocked it with my kid when she was little and rollin' in a helmet :)

Internet Break + some Tori Amos

Not to beat a dead horse but when I came down sick with this, what I have self diagnosed, sinus infection- I took a pseudo internet break.  I haven't turned on my computer since my last blog post.  Now... the reason it is pseudo is because I still Facebooked and Pinned from my phone.  Oh yeah and Instagrammed.  It was nice to step away from the computer for awhile.  I sit in front of two alllllllllll day at work.  Ok, two monitors.  This little break had me thinking a bit.  I think I am going to delete some of my apps.  Maybe.  I find that even without a computer, I am still too hooked.  It steals away precious time I don't have and I really don't need to waste it.  I find myself mindlessly checking for updates without any real purpose.  I did, however, find that by Monday, I was checking less often.  You can always tell when I am bored or procrastinating a lot- I share a lot of crap on Facebook.

I feel a thousand times better but I still have a lot of pressure but better than I was! Yay!

So, a few months back I did an interview with a local organization who publishes resources, articles, etc. about the special needs community and services.  This group employs parents to help other parents.  When Emma was shaken, our world was turned upside down.  Those with typical kids will get their kids enrolled for school, have their annual well visits, have a sick visit or two, see a dentist and have extracurricular activities and sports.  Well, our lives are like this: enroll our kids in school, have IEP meetings, Day Treatment and Training After school and summer programs, we have our annual well child visits plus routine follow ups with a buttload of specialists: neurologist, neurosurgeon, orthopedic, physiatrist, psychiatrist, opthalmologist, and I know I am forgetting some of ours. I always do, haha. Oh and a dental visit for Emma isn't typical- she has a shunt in her brain which means that any time she goes, she has to be on antibiotics to prevent bacteria from getting released into her shunt.  We have daily medications- Emma's are 75 mgs of topamax and 150 mgs of Carbatrol twice a day.  That's a high dose and it's to prevent seizures.  She has an EEG due this year.  She gets botox injections every 4-6 months in her arm.  She has to get fitted for leg braces (AFO) and hand splints.  I have to watch for signs and symptoms of a brain shunt failure.  She is delayed cognitively.  She's beautiful.  She has therapy three times a week at 7 AM- Physical, Occupational and Speech therapy.  This little girl starts her day at 5:45 AM every school day.  She gets up for therapy, she goes to school, after school she goes to a program (Day Treatment and Training at United Cerebral Palsy) after school that ends at 6 PM and she doesn't get home until nearly 7 PM.  That's a long day for a 10 year old and she doesn't complain.  She's always happy and is my ray of sunshine.  Oh and every three months, I have to meet with her Department of Developmental Disabilities support coordinator to keep her services in place.  Let's also add that I work full time + will be starting up my part time supplemental instruction lead position again soon + working on posting stuff into my Etsy shop.  Oh.  Did I tell you that I am a single parent? I am 100% single parent- there is no father in her life.  I do this on my own and I do the best I can.  I need support from time to time.  I do get exhausted but I have no choice.  Did I also say I love her?  I can't imagine my life without this chaotic shenaniganizer.

So to my point... here's my interview for Raising Special Kids Arizona
Don't forget to check out an interview for Raising Arizona Kids Magazine


I didn't do a music post on Monday.  Hey, it was Labor Day after all and I had a Law and Order SVU marathon to watch...

Ladies and Gents- TORI AMOS! Gods... I love her.  I know what I will be listening to when I am driving to work today :)  Enjoy!